just.

i've actually thought of not blogging anymore. but scratch that, i guess i'll just keep this blog for shiz.

so anyways, new post.

ever since coming to ktj, i've developed a new hobby (sorta), which is blog-hopping. and right now, everyone, well almost everyone i know who owns a blog, seems to be emotionally worked up right now, over what you might ask. well, over what else but love.

sure, like most people, i've had some bumps along the way, never been in a relationship, but i still want to believe that i will fall in love someday; madly, hopelessly, irrevocably and indefinitely in love with someone that loves me back the same. i've never had that feeling of wanting to wake up just so i could see that other person's face, to hear his voice, to feel his touch. i used to long for those things, cos i thought that was what it took for one to be happy, but after what i've seen happen in the past couple of months, i start to wonder if all this is worth it. if it's worth all the pain of having your heart broken time and time again. this, spawns a question : why does our heart really feels like it been broken when we get hurt emotionally?

a friend and i came up with a theory that some people just have more luck, that we're not equal at all. that the people with more luck, will have love find them, as oppose to them having to find love instead. but as i sit here, staring at these bleeding econs essays, then at the walls in my puny room, i realise that it's not love that some of us luckless people lack, it's relationships often built on mere infatuation or physical attraction. i look around me, and guess what? shitloads of relationships are exactly that. last week, i believed that love was only meant for those with luck. but right now, at this very moment, it seems to me that, all of us are just as unfortunate when it comes to finding true love (by true love i dont mean The One for there is no One, just bonafide love.). i will find that love one day. i'll bloody well make sure of it.

so that's it. now, i'm gonna continue with my econs and impatiently await the day term break starts, then i can start living again.